Over 2,000,000 marriages occur in the US each year while more than 800,000 marriages end in a divorce every year. It can be sad but it happens. The divorce process is tough. It can be an emotional roller coaster until the end, but the storm doesn’t last forever. After a divorce, it may be difficult to get used to the changes at first. Your new life becomes easier to deal with as you find new ways to occupy your time. These four tips will help you overcome a divorce and help you move on with your life.
Embrace the Grieving Process
The grieving process does not only apply to the loss of a loved one. It could mean the end of a relationship or the end of what you thought your life with someone would look like. Allow yourself time to grieve and come to terms with the events that took place. It’s likely you didn’t get married with the assumption you would be getting a divorce. You wanted it to work but, in the end, it didn’t and that’s devastating.
Give yourself time to go through the process and to really feel. If you cut yourself off from your emotions, you won’t truly heal. This process can take days, week, months or even years, but this is the time you need. If you feel you might need some help, contact a therapist, start investing in hobbies. Do whatever you need to do to get through it.
Get to Know Yourself
Marriage changes people, and so does divorce. Sometimes, you can’t seem to remember what you’re like without another half. Remember: you were and are a whole person. Take the time to get to know yourself again. What are your likes and dislikes? How do you want to change and grow? What are your goals, short term as well as long term? Ask yourself these questions to get a better understanding of where you are in life.
Getting to know yourself again is another process that takes time and work. Take your time and be patient. Use this time as the perfect excuse to redecorate, relocate, and reinvent yourself. Open yourself up to new situations, adventures, and friendships and learn to live as yourself, unapologetically.
Don’t Succumb to Fear
Getting a divorce opens doors of opportunity for fear. The future and the unknown are both scary. Regardless of how long the marriage lasted, getting accustomed to a new way of living can be tough. Don’t give in to that fear. Avoid playing the blame game and stop analyzing every detail of the divorce. It happened; work through it, grieve, and move on in healthy ways. Look on the positive side of things and focus on the new possibilities, opportunities, and goals you have.
Ask for Help
Going through a divorce is not the ideal happy ending for many people. Divorce is hard and sometimes messy but you deserve to be happy and in love and appreciated for who you are. It’s okay to ask for help if you need or even just want it. If you need help coping with the divorce—logistically or emotionally, ask your family and friends for help. Consult a divorce lawyer to get everything settled legally. Seek counseling and therapy to help you heal. Instead of stressing over the situation, try your best to make the most of it.
Getting a divorce is not always going to be an easy road to travel, but beauty will come out of all the hardship. There is life and love after divorce, and it’s yours to claim.