The title of this post is a little disingenuous. All divorces are hard in one way or another. Breaking up with somebody – and severing all ties – is a tough thing to do, regardless of whoever put the wheels in motion.
If you filed for divorce first, you probably agonized for a long time about whether it was the right thing to do. If you have just received papers, it might have come as a complete shock. But, either way, it is a period in your life that you probably didn’t expect to happen to you.
So, how do you get through it? There is no magic bullet, of course, but these tips should help you take a step in the right direction.
Get A Lawyer
Marriage is a legal ceremony and, as such, it takes a legal decree to void it. You will need a lawyer, no matter how amicable you think things are. According to Wilson Browne Solicitors, all divorce will boil down to three things: children, money and property. You may not have to go to court, but it could take a lot of wrangling and consultation to avoid it.
Get A Support Network
Divorce is not a light matter, and should never be treated as such. Whether you have made it happen or are on the receiving end, it doesn’t matter – you need to have a good support network behind you. Your family are likely to be your best bets while the process is happening. You could also try joining a support group, or reading a divorce blog. It won’t be long before you meet others in your situation.
Be Prepared To Dump Friends
Some of your so-called friends may wish to make you feel bad about your divorce. If anyone does make you feel that way, just exclude them from your life. You don’t need to feel any worse. They may be upset themselves, but they have no right to cause you any more grief. You can let them back into your life at a later stage, but for now: goodbye!
Take Some Time To Grieve
Losing somebody that you expected to be with forever is tough. So don’t try and fight what will eventually come. It might take a week, or a month, or even a year. But at some point that grief will smack you firmly in the face. And when it does, just let it.
Have Some Fun
You will feel down for a while, and that’s OK. It’s natural to mope about a bit and feel lost. But it is important to set a date for yourself when you can start to have some fun again, and mix it up with an achievement. Go sky-diving. Run a marathon. Accomplish anything and have fun doing it. These will be your first steps to getting back to a normal life.
There are no easy options when it comes to divorce. You don’t have to be strong, but you do have to face up to what is happening. It could be a long road to recovery, but you will make it. Tell yourself that every day and, eventually, one morning you will wake up, and you won’t have to anymore.