Getting engaged is a huge step in every relationship. While you might not feel like anything has changed, you’re in for an entirely new experience. Below are a few things that no one ever tells you about getting engaged.
You’re on a Timeline
No matter what else happens after you get engaged, you’re going to have to get used to being on a timeline. Whether you’re getting married in just a couple of months or one year later, someone is going to have a problem with your choice and there’s no doubt they’ll voice their concerns.
Get ready for constant questions about when the wedding is going to be, why it is scheduled on that date, and endless opinions about how great or how terrible it is that you chose to get married quickly or to have a longer engagement.
Most couples would also agree that regardless of how much time there is between your engagement and your wedding, you can almost always use more time for planning that what you have.
You’ll be Treated as a Unit
Even long-term couples are going to see a difference in how they are treated once they get engaged. As soon as engagement rings are on the table, people are going to start seeing you and your partner less as individuals and more as a unit. Again, this has nothing to do with how your relationship actually works—you’ll simply notice that people start to have different expectations for how you should be treated after you have gotten engaged. This is a good precursor to marriage, as you will always be treated as a unit after you are married.
There are Many Hidden Decisions
Before you’re engaged, the biggest decision you have to make is about engagement rings. It’s important to get your partner’s input on what they’ll like and what style suits them.
Once the ring selection and proposal are finished, you’re going to have to start dealing with dozens of new questions that you may never have thought about. It’s not just looking at where you are going to live—it’s questions like whether you or your partner will change a name, which family you should live closest to, and questions about how you’re going to handle things like bank accounts and estate planning. Not to mention all of the decisions you’ll need to make about the actual wedding.
It Feels Weird
The final true (but hidden) fact about being engaged is that it feels very weird. Once the rush of popping the question and getting an answer wears off you’ll be in a strange liminal state—not yet married, but certainly more than dating. It’s normal to feel a bit adrift when you hit this point, but know that things will change soon enough and you’ll need to adjust to the feeling of being married instead.
Be prepared to live a much different life once you’re engaged. Prepare to be treated differently, to answer new questions, and to look at your life in a new way. This can be a great time in your life, so enjoy it while it lasts.