Most people enter marriage with the belief that their relationship will last forever. Despite the high divorce rates in America, you might think that you will never be part of this statistic. You have complete faith in your partner and the promise you made to each other. You believe that infidelity is definitely out of the question. That is, until you wake up one day and find out your spouse has been cheating on you with a third party. You rack your brains for days trying to answer the question: why did he cheat on me? We list down three of the most common reasons behind infidelity.

  1. Sexual Satisfaction
    Sometimes, men and women look for partners outside of their marriage because they want to improve their sex lives. With kids in the equation and with the stress of work and maintaining a home, sex tends to become an additional chore rather than a pleasurable activity. 

  2. Emotional Validation
    More than sexual concerns, spouses have been known to cheat on their partners when their emotional needs are not being met. Some couples grow apart over the years, and they end up taking each other for granted. Men expect their wives to appreciate them, but rarely voice out their concerns. Wives expect their husbands to notice and complement their new dress, new hairstyle, or the new dish they tried cooking and often end up disappointed when it doesn’t happen. Because of this, they often look for appreciation outside the marriage and enter into risky affairs. 

  3. Breaking the Routine
    Another common reason why spouses are said to cheat is to break the monotony of their relationship. Couples who have been with each other for more than a decade or two enter into a comfortable routine. Their day-to-day habits become so in-sync with each other, that there’s no more room left for mystery. Cheaters often engage in romantic trysts in search of thrilling new experiences.

These extramarital affairs are usually met with a lot of confrontation and distress. Depending on the couple’s resolve to save the marriage, there are a number of possible outcomes that can result from cheating. Here are some of them.

  1. Revenge
    This is a common knee-jerk reaction among spouses, especially with men whose wives cheated on them. Oftentimes, there is a need to cure one’s bruised ego, which translates to doing the same thing your partner did to you. Hooking up with a stranger or someone your spouse has been jealous with for years (a close friend or neighbor) makes the betrayed partner feel that he or she was able to salvage a bit of pride by exacting pain on his spouse. 

  2. Divorce
    Surveys says that in America, 53% of marriages will end in divorce. This happens when the couple no longer sees any reason to stay in a marriage, especially after one or both of them have cheated. In some cases, spouses have the gut feeling that their partners are already cheating on them but they have no proof of their claim. This is where most private investigators get their bread and butter. Hiring a private investigator to do surveillance and track your spouse’s activities will help compile evidence should there be a need to take things to court. 

  3. Couple’s Therapy
    Cheating is usually a reflection of a couple’s unresolved conflicts. Instead of giving up and ending the relationship, some couples choose to work out their issues. They enter couple’s therapy and seek the help of a marriage counselor. The healing process depends on the couple’s ability to forgive each other. When done properly, couple’s therapy can help spouses to move on and heal from the betrayal. In rare cases, some couples even credit the extra-marital affair to have strengthened their relationship. Some see the act of infidelity as an eye opener, for them to truly face and confront their problems as husbands and wives, eventually resulting into a better and more loving connection.

Most infidelities are the result of a complex mix of factors – sexual desire, lack of validation and connection and the thrill of experiencing something new. This betrayal of trust often leads to a couple’s separation, but, in a few cases, may also result into a couple’s renewed love for each other. It all depends on the couple’s drive to love and stay together, in sickness, in health, and even with infidelity.