Meeting the love of your life is one of the most joyous occasions of your existence thus far. You have probably envisioned this moment since you were a child, and now the time has almost come for you to join your own personal household with that of your fiancee’s. This certainly gives you both a great deal to talk about. If you are wise, you will want to openly discuss your financial and social outlook on life early on in your relationship so that you are both on the same page moving forward. To assist you with that, continue reading to uncover three tips that should help guide conversations with your fiancee about socioeconomic differences.
Single or Dual Income Household
An area of married life that should be talked about early on is whether or not one or the both of you will be working. In this day and age, it seems that more and more families have both spouses working a considerable amount of the time away from the home. While that works for many, others might find it limiting. If you plan to stay home and possibly raise children, make that be known to your spouse so that you both can begin planning for that accordingly.
You may be expecting your spouse will stay at home while you work full time, they may be expecting you both work. You may have not talked about it yet because you don’t have kids yet. Have you even talked about wanting kids and how they’ll be raised? For some people it’s important to be home with the kids before they go to school, for some others they are fine with a Nanny or even expect one. When you are raised in different socioeconomic backgrounds there are no “givens”. What may be a luxury to you may be an expectation for your spouse and vice versa. There is no right or wrong way to manage your family, what’s important is being on the same page from the beginning so you don’t end up with ultimatums or uncomfortable surprises in the future.
Balancing the Home and the Career
Speaking of work, it is important to realize that there is much more to married life than just earning a paycheck. You will want to talk about priorities. It is important to have a good work and life balance so that one spouse or the other does not feel left out. When work becomes more important than the relationship, then priorities need to be realigned.
Different couples need different levels of attention from each other. Some people may expect all their free time from work will be spent with their spouse and family. Some people may assume they’ll spend that time doing hobbies alone. You obviously don’t want your spouse to feel ignored while they do the bulk of housework or emotional work in a relationship. It’s also important to keep a sense of autonomy to your interests. Talk to your fiancée about what your expectations are at home and at work. You don’t want a surprise thinking that because someone works they expect they won’t do any housework while you think you are sharing the load.
Managing Living Expectations
Everyone comes from a different background and upbringing. Much of this determines our own individual perspective on how to approach living together with someone else. You will want to talk about the prospect of buying a home with your fiancee. Be open and discuss how you will come up with the money for this and how you will work to together to take care of what will become your most valuable asset as a married couple. You may want a luxury home and know you’re able to afford it, while your fiancée may think it’s extravagant or may feel out of their comfort zone. Talking about this early on in your relationship will help to develop a plan that can work for you. Get something that feels great for both of you and talk about the root issues to any insecurities.
These three areas of life impact married families more than they might like to admit. It is important to make sure that both spouses are on the same page in order to minimize any misunderstandings or disagreements in the future. It can also help create a unity and bond in the marriage that will make it healthier and stronger over time. This is a great asset for any couple to have.