For boyfriends across the world, the elusive ‘brownie points’ are an elusive commodity and one that is desperately sought after. If you have brownie points, it essentially means that you have won your partner’s favor and are in their good books, which in turn means you can get a ‘free pass’ on many things that you no doubt will do wrong in the future and that you might potentially be treated to a nice massage or permission to watch Star Wars one night.
But like all the most valuable things in the world, brownie points are not easy to come by and must be earned. Here we will look at some of the most reliable methods there are for currying favour and for being considered a ‘great boyfriend’. These are the only sure fire ways to win points that I know, but be careful – if she suspects you’re just trying to get rich on points then these strategies will lose all of their potency. Use with caution…
Buying flowers is a timeless classic to win points but it is not quite as straightforward as you might think to win a girlfriend over with a bouquet. The secret to successful bestowing flowers on your partner is to give them ‘out of the blue’ rather than for a special date necessarily, and to choose flowers that you know your partner will like. It’s a common mistake to think that you can give any old flowers – the real points come from knowing your partner and for listening when she mentions that she loves tulips.
The same general rules apply when buying jewellery. Here your mission is to buy jewellery that suits your partner, that goes with her outfits and that matches her ‘style’. Jewellery is incredibly personal, so getting this right will show that you’ve noticed what she’s been wearing in the past and that you know here well enough to choose on her behalf and get it right. The big thing to get right first of all is to know whether your partner would prefer gold or sterling silver jewelry (most women have one type of jewellery they wear more often) and to pick something that fits within her usual style – does she tend to wear large colorful jewellery or dainty, subtle items? If you’re unsure, try flicking through pictures on Facebook and you should be able to get a good idea of what she likes.
Something that not all guys get right is listening. We think we’re good listeners, but in fact what we tend to do is often not listening at all but rather ‘suggesting’. We listen to our partner’s problems for approximately one minute, then immediately chime in with our solution. What we don’t recognize when we do this is that we are a) immediately making the conversation about us and how clever we are (rather than our partner who needs the attention) and b) undermining the problem by suggesting that it could have been fixed so easily. Sometimes women just want their men to listen, so try nodding, smiling and not piping up with big ideas.
Did you know that surveys suggest the quickest way to a woman’s heart is through vacuuming? On multiple surveys , women have shown that they feel most grateful to their partners when they vacuum or do the washing up and this small gesture can make all the difference to how well you get on.
It’s the little things that can make a lot of difference in a relationship, and that means trying to show that you are 100% engaged in the relationship at all times. What’s all too common is for men to nod and smile as though they are listening to their partners but to in fact be day dreaming about other things or stressing about work. Thoughtful little every day gestures can prove that this isn’t the case – such as pointing out something in the TV Times that your partner is likely to enjoy, or commenting on something that they’re wearing. Be constantly looking out for ways to show that you care and that you’re listening and you will quickly build up a vast reservoir of brownie points. They’re worth much more than ‘man points’ any day.
This post was contributed by Josh Ferdinand; he is a jewelry designer and a blogging enthusiast. He keenly follows the new and seasonal trends in fashion and jewelry design.