Divorced and living in the same house may sound like a horrible idea to many people but as housing prices soar and divorce rates continue to climb this situation is becoming increasingly common. While of course this situation is not optimal, making the switch from spouses to housemates is sometimes the only way to get through this difficult time in both individuals lives. While it sounds daunting, if you find yourself in this position, there are actions that can be taken to make such a situation work, at least for the short term. Here are our rules and tips to help both of you through it till you can get out on your own.
1. Look to move out – when possible
Yes, the reason you are in this situation is likely because you cannot afford to move out. Understandably, the housing markets in many major cities are extremely competitive with exorbitant prices, but this doesn’t mean you are out of options. Having an open mind to new places and looking for a suitable real estate agent using sites such as OpenAgent is a great way to begin moving on with each of your lives.
2. Discuss who will pay for what
While you wait for the right time to move out on your own, you are going to need to set clear rules on who is paying for what. Financial issues are among the leading cause to divorce and so obviously, they will be a major issue as you shift towards this new type of relationship as housemates. Sit down together and discuss the major shared financial obligations – using a divorce mediator throughout this process can be helpful. Logically, if you make similar incomes, splitting the bills 50/50 can work, however if one of you will struggle to meet the demands of this plan, an appropriate agreement should be decided upon.
3. Be good roommates!
Living in the same house as your ex is not going to be easy for either of you so it is important to practice good roommate etiquette. Be considerate and respectful, clean up after yourself, don’t eat all the food, especially if you didn’t buy it, don’t overtake the bathroom as your own and so on, basic respect. Tensions may be high and rudeness and lack of consideration will only heighten tensions which is not going to help anyone.
4. Don’t bring new partners home
This ties into our last point about respect and consideration. It would be extremely horrible to walk into your own home to find your ex with a new partner, so don’t do this to them. Again, this is only going to make living together increasingly difficult. Make it easy for each other and respect such boundaries.
5. You can still move on
Not bringing home new romantic partners doesn’t mean you can’t move on! Just no taking the new partner back home just yet. It may be hard when you see your ex every day in your house, but moving on and finding new people is an important step to getting through this period in your life. This will help you move on emotionally and when you can move on financially, the transition will be much easier.
6. Don’t go back to your ex-partner
Most times this is not the greatest idea, in fact it’s not going to make anything easier. Seeing each other every day whilst you are both feeling lonely and vulnerable is going to make moving on a little difficult and falling into old habits easy. Stay strong and don’t go back to being together, in any way.
There’s 6 house rules to follow if you find yourself living with your ex-partner. Of course there are certain situations where living together is simply not an option and an alternative must be found. If children are involved this can be an extremely tough and confusing time, even if you do move, staying in the same house may only make things harder. If arguments and fights occur often, or if there are any signs of domestic abuse, obviously, the best action is to get out. Living in a safe house can be a helpful option here. Remember this time will pass and only has to be temporary, follow these tips to make it as easy as possible.