Adults, teenagers or children, siblings of every age at one time or the other go through many phases and might face situations where they don’t agree with one another. They tend to hold these grudges for life if not dealt with then and there.
It doesn’t matter if you are younger or older, either one can make amends after a fight.
Naturally, some of you cannot express your feelings in words, so in that case, probably try expressing your feeling through gifts that are available in plenty of kinds and for every occasion.
By giving them specific gifts, you can let them know that you are sorry without actually apologising. Moreover, gifts are not the only way to make amends; you can maturely talk it out and settle somewhere in the middle which makes both of you happy.
Since maturely handling these situations can be difficult at times, here are some of the tips that you can use to make things right with your sibling after a fight.
Confrontation is a heavy word and a heavier process when you initiate it. However, after initiating, it’s like a cakewalk.
Simply put, confrontation means that you make the first move in a possible resolution. To make this possible, you can suggest your sibling meet you face to face or virtually if you live apart.
Don’t be too hard on yourself if you feel anxious or stressed to make the first move because it is completely normal. In fact, it is a healthy sign that your body shows in the process to make things right.
Lastly, remember to pick a place where both of you’ll be comfortable. Probably somewhere which is usually quiet and not crowded so that you can communicate with one another properly.
After the heavy decision that you have made to confront your siblings, it is now time to speak and present your concerns in front of them. This is the time to get organised about your thoughts because if they are unorganised, years of conflicts can get real messy real fast.
While organising your concerns and thoughts you have about them, try to steer clear of petty issues. It is also important that both you and your sibling get equal chances to present your problems to one another. While doing so, you should respectfully listen and shouldn’t interrupt to get healthy outcomes out of this meeting.
3. Use First Person Narrative
It is very easy to get down the ‘blame game train’ when grudges have been bottled up for so many years. One technique to communicate effectively with your sibling is to use ‘I’ in your sentences when you talk to them.
For instance, “I felt upset because of the kind of language you used”, or “ I was not happy about how you disrespected my work life”. This tiny habit of using the first-person narrative can take you a long way and can also resolve your issues with them peacefully.
In contrast, the usage of ‘you in your sentences will sound like you are blaming your sibling and attacking them for behaving the way they probably did not even behave in the past. So, make sure you are careful about how you portray your problems to them.
4. Remain Calm
Spiralling is extremely common when two people are trying to resolve conflicts and especially if they are amongst an adult pair of siblings. Another common thing is that the emotions escalate quickly and things could be out of control suddenly.
So how do you deal with these commonalities?
Simply try to remain calm and composed while the other one shows signs of rage and anger. You should be able to distinguish between their content and anger; while only reacting to the content part.
Another thing that you can do is try to keep your shoulders and hands relaxed to have a steady and calm body language.
Lastly, if it gets too much, try breathing deeply and calmly to steady your and your sibling’s anger.
Grudges and fights are good for no one and it is a known fact. Once you try and go through this entire process of confronting, speaking, and remaining extremely calm while doing it, you will feel like you are breathing again.
Feeling this fresh breath of air should be on the top of your list and with this relief, you get your closest friend, your sibling back!