spice-up-relationshipYou know that feeling when a new man comes into your life and into the bedroom, everything seems so fresh, exciting and romantic and you want to spend as much time together as possible.

As much as we would like that initial magic to last forever, relationships just don’t work like that, so if your initial passion turns into a long term relationship, then there will almost certainly come a point where you may need to rekindle that original fire, especially when it comes to the bedroom.

Here are five ways to get those fires burning brightly again

Remind yourself of all the good points

The best way to rekindle the passion is to first of all remind yourself of why you fell for each other in the first place. Get a notepad and write down all the things that you love or even used to love about your partner. Try to reflect on the ways that you are better off in a relationship than being single and avoid writing any negative comments. Write every positive point that you can think of, big or small, and when you review your notes you will most likely have a greater appreciation of your partner and be more ready to stoke up the fire again.

Plan a night of sex

We all have busy lives and whilst you might consider the best sex to be spontaneous and fuelled by lust, the reality is that you have to make time for a night of passion, so schedule it in. It might seem an un-romantic thing to do but the sense of anticipation and planning a night of seduction can actually be quite exciting when your thoughts turn to the night ahead.


You know what they say, men are from Venus and women are from Mars, well what about VENIS? Which is an abbreviation for very erotic non-insertive sex and works on the basis that men feel intimate when they are being sexual and women feel sexual when they are being intimate. Trying sexual contact without penetration, focusing on erotic gestures and language can really rekindle the passion when you finally succumb, in a day or two!


Using massage techniques in your relationship and in foreplay is a great way of getting closer together as you share each other’s bodies, and it doesn’t always have to lead to sex in order to have a good time. Use a good quality massage oil with a really nice sensual aroma and work your way around the whole of the body and not just the erogenous zones. Massaging the backs of the arms and knees, the feet, fingers and also the scalp will demonstrate a real passion to please your partner and will certainly be rewarded when the massage is over.


From the comfort of your home, you can buy sex toys from www.allureoutlet.co.uk online. Products ordered online are discretely packed and labelled for delivery. Many men love the idea of using some sex toys in the bedroom and if you get him to help you explore your body then it will probably drive him wild and lead to an even more intense sex session. A vibrator is not just for penetration and if you get your man to tease and stroke your most intimate areas, not only will you have a good time, but he will too.

Trying some or all of these tips will almost certainly lead to an enjoyable night of passion and certainly rekindle the fire in your relationship.

Abi Sutton is a sex therapist with several years experience. In her spare time, she enjoys sharing her expertise online.